Dealing with telemarketers 101.

As much as telemarketers bug me, they're such a great release for me. I have a friend who genuinely feels bad for them and can't bring herself to hang up on them, so tells them how much she isn't interested until they give up...

I, on the other hand, have a great time with them.

Yesterday, the phone rang and it was Umfufu, from Bug Me To Death Pty Ltd, asking to "please wanting to speak to the business manager or owner." Naturally I said, "No," and promptly hung up. She rang back half a minute later, deciding to try a different approach by not introducing herself, and asking directly to please speak to the business manager or owner. For some reason, I find the call-straight-back's a challenge. Here's how the second call went...

Umfufu: "Hello, can I please speak to the business manager or owner?"
Me (recognizisng the voice and playing along): "May I ask who's speaking?"
U: "Umfufu."
M: "And where are you calling from?"
U: "Bug Me To Death Pty Ltd."
M: "And what was it in regards to?"
U: "A business proposition to propose to your business."
M (in a cheery kinda oh-hey-how's-it-going recognition voice): "Oh, did you just call and get cut off?"
U (in a relieved yay-they-didn't-hang-up-and-here's-some-potential kinda voice): "YES! That was me. We must've got cut off!"
M: "No, what actually happened was that I hung up on you."
*CLICK*

I literally have dozens of other tactics & amusements I've perfected over the years. I just hope it isn't bad karma.

http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/tps/ is the only way, no talking in the first place

If they phone me at home, I usually say I'm rather busy at the moment and ask them for their home number so I can discuss their proposal with them at a time more convenient to myself.

Then, when they say 'sorry, we don't do business from our home numbers,' I reply 'well what the f*ck makes you think I do!' before hanging up :-)